Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Beauty in the 21st century

Ever since I moved to Vancouver, I've been trying to take better care of my appearance. It may sound superficial, but I literally feel as pretty as Sophia Grace when she's rocking out in her precious little tutu. I, myself, have contemplated jumping about and speaking in a cockney british accent when I'm all dolled up, but I have managed to restrain myself.

A few things I've been indulging in since I've been to Vancouver is what I like to call new-age-what-the-fuck-I-didn't-know-this-was-a-thing techniques. The first bandwagon I jumped on was lash extensions. In my little bubble in Newfoundland, I had only heard of extensions for your hair... you know, the little scraggly clip-in ones, or fusions. Never had I heard of extensions for your eye lashes. I have the kind of lashes that are like little boys in the closet.. no matter how comfortable they think they are with wearing mascara, they just DON'T WANT TO COME OUT. By come out, I mean my lashes won't look long and beautiful, like feathery windows to my sarcastic soul. I made an appointment to Noir Lash Lounge and jumped into the world of lashes. They literally glue one little lash on at a time, and they last about a month to 6 weeks. The first time I got them done, I went for a more natural look. It wasn't for me. I needed in-your-face lashes, which is what I have now. Finally I feel like my little peepers have nice drapes, and all I can say is TOO LATE NORMAL LASHES, YOU'RE BEING COVERED.

Another thing (that I literally just got home from) was getting my eyebrows threaded, where I went to Bombay Brow Bar. This was an aloof thought in my mind... I didn't understand it, nor did I want to. It sounded proverbial. I kind of heard of it before but it was too trendy for my likes and I just figured waxing was the way to go. WAS I WRONG. I literally was there for like twenty minutes, paid the same price as a high-quality wax, and plus they gave me an eyebrow massage (yes... it does feel amazing) and darkened them for me with powder. The process also felt... dare I say.. kind of good? Threading doesn't hurt in my opinion, it kind of felt nice. Magnifique I say! I love these brows. They're my babies. I like em arched, which I've always been told they couldn't be due to my natural, and they did it with ease. They delivered amazingly considering my vague request: "Uhh yeah, I want them to be arched, but still really thick, but cleaned up on the top and the bottom, but not too fake looking, and I fill them in with pencil, but I don't want them to look too fake with pencil". I'm a difficult case. At least I tip well.... Let me switch that around: Well at least I tip. Kiddinggggggggggg. I'm good.

Also I've been TANNING myself. Not in the sense that I stick myself in a bed and bake for twenty minutes, as in I put on a tanning mousse to make it LOOK like I baked, but without any chance of unnecessary wrinkles or melanoma. I've been using St Tropez Mousse from Sephora, and I love it. Normally I cannot stand the smell of self tanners, but then again who does. To me, it smells like crackers... like nasty, rotting crackers that you mushed all over your body. But St Tropez does not bother me at all, it still smells (obviously, it's a perfume kind of smell) but I never smell like crackers anymore! I've shared the cracker notion with my friends and they disagree, it doesn't smell like crackers at all to them. It has a distinct smell, yes, but I'm alone on the cracker thought train. However, if you're looking to be tan during these winter months, use this. Order this. Go with it. Run with it. Bathe yourself in it. St Tropez also has lotions, but the mousse is easier to blend into your skin. Also, if you fuck up and come out looking spotty, which you won't, but incase you're inadequate, you can get their tan remover. Easiest thing ever, and it really works.

Now go out there, and doll yourself up artificially! Let's all be Sophia Grace! Screw that, y'all are Rosies. I'm Sophia Grace. One and only.


  1. I've always wanted to try threading!
    No I feel I HAVE to give it a go!

    1. it's the weirdest thing and i was completely shocked at how it felt. but i will never get them waxed again. you mustttt try.

  2. bahaha i love your writing in this post.

    also. um, threading? you wanna elaborate a bit more on this, she asks, from that newfoundland bubble?

    the lash thing i'd love to try though!

    1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIeHYNt-rl4

      watch that video. it explains it... it's so weird haha. but i loveeeeee it.